Inner Connections

Recently I was walking with my dogs in the hills behind my house. There is a lovely walk into a canyon that ends at a waterfall. It was a beautiful day and I felt completely in connection with the universe. My heart was full, I was ecstatic. We had a great walk to the falls. The dogs were chasing each other through the water, running ahead and then back to me as dogs will do. On the return we encountered several other dogs and their owners, and had brief conversations on the beauty of the day etc. As I came around a bend, I noticed a woman with a dog on a leash, of course Luigi had to go and investigate.

As I tried to restrain him, she began to berate me for allowing my dogs to be off leash.
As this was happening he broke free and went straight for her and her dog. I tried calling him back but he was determined. As she began to hit my dog to shoo him away, I lost it. I yelled at her “You leave my dog alone” she yelled back “Train your (profanity) dogs and keep them on a leash (profanity)” As I continued along the trail completely losing my state of equanimity, I yelled back at her an equally unkind and unloving statement. My day was ruined, my state was dissolved, and I did it to my self. I don’t know what made me angrier, that she was hitting Luigi, or that I allowed my state to be ruined in a split second.

I spent the rest of the day being angry at myself for allowing someone to pull me out of connection. I am responsible for my inner state. I forgot to take that moment to breathe, stay calm in a situation that was actually quite comical. My dogs weren’t hurting anything. Later as I reflected on this encounter, I saw my tendency to move into defiance when someone or something gets in my way or criticizes my actions. Clearly this was an opportunity to look at something I needed to change about my self. Another gift from this encounter was the awareness of how my body feels when I am connected and when I go into disconnect. There is a completely different physical feeling.

On subsequent walks I don’t leash my dogs, but I do pay more attention to the attitude of other hikers we encounter. I occasionally get a dirty look, but most of the time people want to interact with Yoshi and Luigi instead of berating me for allowing them to run free.